Overwhelmed

This morning started off like a typical morning as of late. Wake up, change and feed the little one, wake up big brother and get him started on his change of clothes and breakfast. Then I get ready, kiss all my loves goodbye and make my way into work. I get the music going as it helps with the 40 to 45-minute drive in. About half way into work, a song comes on by Big Daddy Weave. It’s one that I’ve heard multiple times and I really do like it a lot. For those of you that know the artist, you can see now where my title originated from. I’ve heard this song so many times before on my playlist and thought today would be no different than those other times. I was wrong.

As I was singing along with the song something hit me and hit me hard. It was like the words overcame me and just opened up something inside me. By the time I hit the second verse, the tears started.
God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross
Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God
And all that You’ve done is so overwhelming

 

“All that You’ve done is so overwhelming”.  That hit me and just sat heavy on me for a bit. There are a lot of things going on within our family and also in our individual lives. Things we’re struggling with and things we’re so so happy and excited about. But when I lift my head up for a moment, out of that mega cloud of life, I just see the fact of how extremely blessed we are. How extremely loved we are and how undeserving of it all I am. The tears just kept coming as I kept thinking about Him and how He loves me so much. How every day I fail Him and I stumble and fall and sometimes even just find myself HATING me. But not Him. Never. His love is beyond my comprehension and it hurts my brain when I try and grasp it.

All of that was just flooding my head and the boom, my mind clears and I can just feel His presence. This is something that I’ve felt before, and it’s so hard to explain, but I feel Him. My whole entire body starts to tingle and I get goosebumps and my heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest of just pure love and joy. It’s like you are feeling every wonderful sensation all at once and right then at that very moment I just want to do nothing but give Him one BIG HUG. I hear the words in the song that only amplify this feeling right now.

You are Glorious, You are Glorious
Oh God, there is no one more Glorious
You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious

I know most people hear the word “overwhelmed” and think of something negative, which is natural because that’s how we hear it most. But this time, I was overwhelmed by God and His perfect Love and Grace. At this point, the tears are just flowing, uncontrollably and I’m not even sure if anyone saw me at any of the stop lights but I’m not really caring about anything like that. At one point I thought maybe I should have pulled over.

There’s no real message from me here today, and I’m sorry if you were maybe expecting something enlightening. It was just an experience that I wanted to share and try my best to put into words, even though I already know that they won’t do it justice. It’s something that I pray that everyone could experience just once because it is a most incredible experience. But I will leave you with the music video to the song by Big Daddy Weave.

 

God’s Love For You

I think as a child of God one of the things I struggle most with is feeling worthy of God’s love. I’m like that one son that knows better but yet still stumbles here, and God is always there with opens arms ready to hug me and love me as He always has.

But I worry that one day, God will say, “ENOUGH! I’m done with you. You don’t listen to me! You don’t love me enough to be good, so I can’t love you anymore”. The death we know is when our body stops working, but TRUE death is separation from God.

The other day I was reading my bible and I came upon these verses that filled me with joy and reassurance.

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39

If none of those things can separate me from God’s love, then surely the stumbles that I deal with every day can’t as well. I hope that if any of you feel this way, you read this and realize that you too are loved by our creator and there’s nothing that you can do that can change that.

Facebook Detox

Yesterday was the first time I can actually say I’ve missed Facebook. Not the drama. Not the silly posts that have absolutely NOTHING to do with people’s lives. Not the constant streams of memes that I could easily hop on Pinterest and see. But I miss the actual personal interactions with people on there. I know what you’re thinking, “That’s not personal interaction if you’re not in person.” I know, I get that. What I mean is that I miss the really meaningful interactions, conversations or discussions that I have with people. From talking about old times, or parenting issues and talking about God. I feel like sometimes God leads me to post scripture or life experiences so that I can share that with others. Am I missing out? Is someone else missing out on God’s word? I worry about that. I worry that I’m missing people right now, even as I type this. What if someone on there is looking for an answer, or even just someone to talk to, or some guidance. Right before I left Facebook I had three instances of that. All of which had some positive outcome and/or feedback about what was being discussed. It’s on my heart now. And I don’t know if that’s God telling me to get back, or me just going to withdrawals from it all.

I also don’t want to get back on so quickly after deactivating it. I feel like I haven’t really given the break a fair chance. I mean the point of the break was not only to get away from the nonsense but to also see if it’s worth keeping in my life. Can’t really do that if it’s not even been a week and I’m already back on. Doesn’t help that I have had several friends asking me why and am I gonna get back on soon. It’s like leaving Facebook Highschool. Or leaving a city named Facebook, TX. I know that’s an odd way to look at it but it’s almost like leaving all your friends behind. Digitally speaking of course.

Can’t honestly say how much longer I’ll go without it, or if I’ll find that I don’t need it and am better off without it. I really just wish I could ask God and just say, “Is this something you want or need me to do? Can I really make a big impact for you?” I’m sure when He’s ready…. He’ll answer.