Daycare. Nothing wrong with it right? Tons of people use it every day for their children. Even though there have been a few horrid stories of bad daycare facilities, we know most of them are good. We know they screen all their employees and hire the best possible people for the proper positions. They all follow state codes and laws. And some facilities are quite beautiful and equipped with great technology. So why on earth does it feel like I abandoned my child when we dropped him off on his first day there? Why did it feel like I was taking a long loved pet back to the pound because we didn’t want him anymore and it’s breaking my heart every second that I’m there. The whole time my wife is finishing up paper work I’m walking around pretending to read stuff on the wall, when it’s really a cover up of me trying not to cry. Here I am tearing up to the activity schedule on the wall and the brochure about the webcams.
And speaking of the webcams, I’m not sure if they’re a blessing or a curse. I mean, I love that I can watch him the entire day in his class, but sometimes I can get so distracted with it. I mean, who can concentrate on work when they can sit there and just watch their little baby on the screen the whole time? The first few days watching it was just torture. I know he’s new to them, so they don’t know his likes or habits. I found myself getting angry at my monitor because they were trying to get him comfortable. I knew all they had to do was just put the little guy in the swing and he would calm down. I swear I was two seconds away from calling the place and telling them over the phone. But I didn’t want them to think I was crazy or anything. At least not more than they probably already think I am.
I must admit the last couple of days of the week, it got a little easier. Still not totally over it, but it did get easier. Now just because it was getting a little easier dropping him off, doesn’t mean that I’m not in a hurry to come and pick up my little guy. The last few hours at work seem to drag and I’m always so eager to get in my truck and head over to snatch him up. Times like these that I wish I drove a Formula One car. I think I could at least cut my time in half with one of those. Is there room for a car seat in one of those?