Well it’s actually been a month now since the birth of our little baby boy. It doesn’t even seem like it’s been that long since the little guy popped out of mommy. The day he turned a month I was looking through his photos since then and it seems like the whole thing was a blur now. It all just flew by. (Says the guy who didn’t have to pop out a 9lb baby.) Even so, there are a few things that I will always remember from that whole experience.
1. My wife is a FREAKING SOLDIER!
What do I mean by this? Who the heck squeezes out anything that’s 9lbs out of ANY part of their body and not take any drugs to help the pain? I would have called it quits on the first contraction… threw in the towel, tagged someone else in! (Is that possible?) I’m beginning to wonder if my wife isn’t some type of cyborg or super human.
2. Every newborn is yucky, EXCEPT for your newborn.
I’ve seen videos and photos of lots of newborns and I always find myself saying, “eew… what’s all that stuff on them?” I thought I would be that way with my little guy, but when I held him for the first time, the last thing that was on my mind was what he had on him or what he would get on me. He was too perfect.
3. The Black Poop
You know, you read about it, you hear about it, but nothing really prepares you for this sight. I had the pleasure of changing his first diaper in our hospital room. And it’s not like it totally repulsed me, because it wasn’t that. I was more shocked & curious. Your mind begins to try and process this phenomenon and you start to wonder, “What in the world is that little baby processing in that tiny body that is putting out some thick black substance?” Was he smoking in there?
4. The World’s Most Uncomfortable Chair
I’m a light sleeper and I can’t sleep in vehicles of any kind. Cars, buses, planes…. doesn’t matter, I can’t sleep like that. Probably cause I usually wake up when your head flops down because you lose control of it. After a while of sitting around and enjoying the newborn I was looking around and wondering where in the world am I gonna sleep? Well, as someone pointed out to me, it just so happens that a small chair extended out to a bed of some sort. After a puzzled look from me I thought to myself, “How bad can it be?” Well, if you don’t mind sleeping like Frankenstein you’re just peaches! Worse fold out chair ever! I would have been better off sleeping on the floor or in the truck! The only comfortable position that I could find was on my back and straightened out. Picture a soldier standing at attention. Straight, sharp and looks like a two by four, now lay that guy down on a small, extended chair…. that’s me. It was enough for me to take naps and that was about it. The first night was enough. I went home for a few hours the following days to take naps and come back at night to watch over our little guy.
5. Moms Freaking Rock.
9lbs 9oz. Doesn’t seem like much right? Or even go for a 7 or 6 pounder. I can hold that with one hand, no problem. Yeah… squeeze that out of a straw. Go ahead, I’ll wait here. You done? Major FAIL? Exactly. Just thinking that certain body parts have to expand that are normally small passages, just freaking hurts. I’ve heard someone say, it’s like squeezing a watermelon out of something the size of a pea. Think about that for a second. Still not getting it? Okay take a small rubber band, smaller than the ones you can fit around the wrist, you know what I’m talking about. Now, try to squeeze you’re entire body through there without breaking it. If you find yourself completing this, congratulations you have an eating disorder or you’re a stick. I don’t care how tough men think they are, women freaking rock. I can’t even begin to imagine trying to pop a baby out of me. Don’t want to. The world would be heavily underpopulated if men had to give birth. And that’s a fact!
All in all, it’s a moment in your life that you will never forget. It’s the start of a whole new chapter and to witness it all makes you realize why they call it the miracle of birth. Cause it really is all a miracle. From the start of that little one cell to the beautiful baby that comes out. Just simply amazing. I love our baby boy beyond all measure, but I think I’m good with one for now. 😀